Many people are not comfortable listening to others criticize them. They find it hard to progress with such people around them. I used to be one of the people I am talking about. I was very discouraged each time someone did not like my work or idea.
Based on my personality, I have a slit perfectionist trait and so I struggle with trying new things and when I do, I still found it hard to share my ideas so when someone did not accept every bit of it, I felt bad which is like confirming why I did not want to share in the first place-its not good enough!
Many times people came with their own candid opinions on how to improve my work or some interesting questions in order for them to understand what I was doing. However I interpreted it as not good enough. These kinds of comments and contributions did not go well with me. I would listen but really I was mad on the inside. Next was that I would really loose my desire to try. And then return to my shell.
I will tell myself, why don’t I go back and keep working in order to have the best idea before sharing with anyone. So I put all my efforts and then as soon as I got stronger to share, I did only to get the same results again. And most times I gave up.
Many times the problem stemmed from low esteem. Comments from people I was intimidated by caused more havoc than others. If you don’t have a solid knowledge of your purpose, this is bound to happen. Everyone that comes around becomes a competitor. However the more you know who you are the more relaxed you will be about criticisms.
For example, if you made a nice meal and then someone you are intimidated by comes to say you should have added orange instead of lime. You are likely to feel really bad and shut down. Asking why orange might have been better would not be on your mind. You might automatically think they are trying to intimidate you the more.
Many people today fight this battle. Do you have people in your life that are obviously better than you in some ways? The problem here is not whether they are better than you. You need to know that there are so many people out there that are better than you at most things. Until you compete in the Olympics or any other global competition and come out as the best in the world, you have to accept that there are many people that are better than you.
For example there are people that have written better blog posts than me. Even on this same topic, I am sure someone out there has done a better job. So the point is not whether you are the best or not. The Master Potter must be smart to have given each one of us unique finger prints and DNAs. Your focus must be on your uniqueness. Ask yourself, what’s unique about me?
There may be another person with my name somewhere on the planet, may be another one with similar features, someone with the same credentials but there is no other person that is completely like me.
The questions now is whats unique about me? Everyone that desires to live a purposeful life must be able to ask themselves this question. A good tip is to list your skills, your habits, think about what you like to do on a normal basis. No one else is like you. To know more about this, watch out for my free book; Becoming You.
As you continue to study yourself, you will begin to discover why the Master Potter made you like you are and that will increase your confidence daily. As your confidence increases, your ability to receive criticisms will also increase.
You need other people to get the most out of your life. First you need other people’s input to create your best product yet and since you cant buy all your products, you need customers to buy them. If you aim at success in anything you do you will need your critics. Why do you want your friends and family to buy your product? Because they simply want to support you or because they are proud to be identified with your success and willing to share it with another person.
All of us have natural critics. You are surrounded by people that have been put there to criticize you constantly. Example is your spouse, children, parents, siblings, step families, cousins, the list goes on. Most huge companies you see around start from a single person but as soon as they can afford to they hire another person. This way they buy new opinions and new skills.
Your natural critics will give you free input from their own unique mind and skill bank. In order for you to succeed you need to use this free service. Imagine building a house and getting a free contractor. Why would you say no?
The good thing about a free service is that you don’t have to take there suggestion but you can use it to improve your own. If you take every criticism like this it wont bother you. However you will notice a lot of improvements in your life. You will begin to polish your own ideas with other people’s contributions. We can also assume that at least one of your potential clients will think the way your critic thinks.
And Yes, I agree that most of the people that I call your natural critics are the same set of people that might annoy you the most. But imagine getting your clients review about you before they buy your product. Imagine knowing exactly what your clients are looking for and designing your product to for their needs. You will sell better this way.
Even if you fight with them, don’t let it end there. Use their comments like one from a potential client and polish your plans the more. Also because these people know you more than your potential client will, you need to also learn to categorize their comments into negative and positive.
Work with the part of the criticism that can be used to build you and your product up. Trash the negative immediately, the part that can destroy you and kill your zeal. I personally believe that every criticism has these two parts. If you don’t believe, I can prove this to you. I challenge you that I will show you the two sides of every criticism.
Go ahead, allow your critics to work. You need them.